FatCharlie bloggar fran oknen

(931):

Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
(1-931):

Wtf? What happened?
(931):

Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.

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(310):

it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.

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(630):

He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out
on a bench in the lobby.

When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets.
No phone, no ID just muffins.

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(847):

she complimented my bra when we were hooking up.

this lesbian thing has its upsides

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(201):

i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover.
give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom.
happy vday baby.

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(949):

Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
(1-949):

are you seriously doing this over text message
(949):

hahaha no, but i am dumping you.

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(315):

You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's
bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.

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(860):

Sry I left before you woke up.

The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean.
PS Somebody threw up on your dog

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(503):

So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.

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(914):

getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you,

now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.